Friday, October 21, 2016

Finding Focus

So how goes it folks?

Yes I know it's been awhile since I have posted regularly or at all. Frankly, its been hectic. Between my job, being married, being a step dad, reading, playing games, trying to get my thoughts together, surviving Hurricane Matthew (I'm okay), and life in general, I just have not had time to invest in this blog.

However, I have noticed something. Over the last several months I have been seeing stories here and there and I would think on it. I'd have an opinion. If I felt like it I would comment, have a discussion or two and that was it. I'd be angry sometimes. I'd be confused sometimes. But due to the things in my first paragraph, I just have not been able to put finger to keyboard.

But more importantly, I'm noticing that I am starting to bubble up trying to get it all out.

My thoughts are piling up and they have to come out. I'm not sure how they will come out. I'm not sure what all the thoughts will be.

But just know that this won't be the last time I post here...

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Look mom!

Okay so I'm just getting back into accepting that Mother's Day has any direct personal meaning to me. For the longest time it really meant nothing to me. It was just a void where I would send well wishings to the moms I know and then go on about my life. But then my mind started to wander.

Started to wander about Mother's Day and then about mothers. Sit back for a moment.

When you were younger do you recall those times when you did something that you thought was the greatest thing in the world and you just HAD to tell your mom about it?

There's the basics like jumping from a height (that you probably shouldn't have been doing), the first time you got a high grade at school, or the first time you tied your shoes all alone.


Well it hit me that there are two milestones that I never got to share with my mom before she died.

First was simply having a girlfriend. Yeah I was a bit of a late bloomer and didn't meet my first girlfriend until I was nearly 32 years old. My mom had already been dead for eight years at that point. So yeah none of the anxiousness of introducing my first girlfriend to my mom.

Second would be kids. For the longest time I've not had any interest in having kids but those feelings are changing. I remember when my mom died my brother's wife was pregnant at the time with their second child. The thing that crossed my mind was that at least their first child got to meet her. And then I realize that any kids I have will never meet their grandmother on their dad's side.

Yeah pretty morbid I know but that's just how the old brain works.

But things are not all doom and gloom anymore.

I got a great wife and a cool (if odd) step daughter. And when the day comes that we have more kids I'll do what I can to help them pick out the cheesiest gifts for as many Mother's Days as I can.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

The Public Facilities Privacy & Security Act?

So if you live anywhere in the United States you have certainly heard about this bill that was passed literally in the cover of night yesterday.

At around 9pm last night North Carolina governor Pat Mcrory signed House Bill 2 into law after it passed through the House of Representatives in a special session (meaning they pretty much held a session for the sole purpose of getting this law passed). What is House Bill 2 you ask? Sit back, this is not good. (I'm quoting text from this link to the exact wording.)

The lead text of the bill states:
 "Providing" for single-sex multiple occupancy as if they were endanger of being wiped out. Like cities, schools, and public sites were just going to start changing every bathroom in sight to co-ed bathrooms. I guess they were worried about North Carolina becoming one giant mixed gender college dorm or something.

Here is how it defines sex:
Biological sex. – The physical condition of being male or female, which is stated on a person's birth certificate.
In short your birth certificate overrides any changes you have made through personal decisions and self discovery.

In regards to schools:
Single-Sex Multiple Occupancy Bathroom and Changing Facilities. – Local boards of education shall require every multiple occupancy bathroom or changing facility that is designated for student use to be designated for and used only by students based on their biological sex.
That means that the board of education that governs any and all schools must designate every multiple occupancy bathroom and changing facility that is meant for student use as being either for males or females, based on your birth certificate.

Now there is one useful bit:
Accommodations Permitted. – Nothing in this section shall prohibit local boards of education from providing accommodations such as single occupancy bathroom or changing facilities or controlled use of faculty facilities upon a request due to special circumstances, but in no event shall that accommodation result in the local boards of education allowing a student to use a multiple occupancy bathroom or changing facility designated under subsection (b) of this section for a sex other than the student's biological sex.
Meaning that boards of education can provide single occupancy bathrooms and changing facilities, but they are explicitly not allowed for it to become a multiple occupancy. There is also similar language towards state government facilities. But probably the scariest part is this:
The provisions of this Article supersede and preempt any ordinance, regulation, resolution, or policy adopted or imposed by a unit of local government or other political subdivision of the State that regulates or imposes any requirement upon an employer pertaining to compensation of employees, such as the wage levels of employees, hours of labor, payment of earned wages, benefits, leave, or well-being of minors in the workforce.
In short even if local government has passed some measure to provide for spaces that allow transgender people to use the bathroom of the sex they identify with, this House Bill 2 overrides it. It might be worth mentioning that the city of Charlotte had such a measure coming into effect this coming April 1st. And it's also worth mentioning that governor Pat Mcrory used to be the mayor of Charlotte before becoming governor.

This is bad. Real bad.

There is genuinely no reason to put this bill through other than transphobia. Seriously what other reason is there to put this into law? To stop transgender people from using certain bathrooms. Bigotry plan and simple. No ones privacy was in danger. No ones security was in danger.

I looked up my state government site to see if my rep voted for it and thankfully she didn't, especially since she just took office barely a week ago. But in case you are from NC and are reading this here's a few links.

You can go to this link to see what district you are in and see who your representative is it.

Next you can to this link to see how your representative voted.

And if you find that your representative voted for it, then the final step is to SPEAK UP.

Call them. Write them. Email them. Let them know that they have just supported a measure that does absolutely nothing besides.

And then tell governor Mcrory about himself.

This can't stand people. This cannot be allowed to stand.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Barely felt like it was my birthday today...

So I'm sure you've noticed that it's been a good while since I last posted and even longer since I was posting regularly.

Frankly a lot has been going on.

My job has been pretty draining and I still haven't quite adjusted. And it doesn't help that my work day was suddenly changed from 6a-3p to 8a-5p. Yes its only a 2 hour shift but that 2 hours means that I now have to deal with actual traffic when go to work and come home from work. Big change.

An aunt that helped me out a lot when my mom died passed away a few months ago. Hell her funeral was the first time I've cried a tear in over ten years.

I've slowly faded away from the gender discourse and have gotten back into gaming a bit. In fact some friends of mine got me a Hyrule Edition new 3DS XL for my birthday and I'm transferring data from my original 3DS XL as we speak. Interesting thing is I'm now on my second 3DS and I didn't buy either one. First one was bought by my girl.....oh yeah.

I got fucking married last week.

Yes been dating her 3 years and been living together for 2. She's helped me in my darkest hours and I know I want her there for my brightest hours. We actually got married on Halloween last Saturday. Even have a new nervous twitch that involves twisting my wedding ring (first piece of jewelry I've worn since I stopped wearing my high school ring almost 15 years ago.

So yeah that's when I've been up to.

When will I be back to posting? I'm honestly not sure. But when I do I'll let you know.

Stay frosty people.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

So why only one charge?

I'm sure you've already seen it but in case you haven't video evidence has come up of Florida State University quarterback De'Andre Johnson getting into an argument with a woman at a bar.

After the two bumped into each other they exchanged words and those words culminated in the woman punching Johnson after which Johnson punched her back.

Now of course violence is wrong and we should avoid it when possible. But this is not a perfect world so it does happen.

With that in mind I don't support violence but at the same time I can't help but notice the resulting outcome.

Johnson has been charged with battery, indefinitely suspended from the football team and according to his attorney, "He is currently participating in community service, and faith-based programs focused on battered women, substance abuse, and the empowerment of children.". 

The woman.......yeah.......

There is no question that Johnson played a part in this and has to be held accountable and responsible for the role he played and he certainly went overboard in his response. However my questions are the same.

If "violence is wrong, no matter the gender" as people say then why is it when a man and woman are mutually violent only the man is held responsible?

If "violence is wrong, no matter the gender" as people say then why is it when a man and woman are mutually violent the story is almost always retold as "man hits woman"?

If "violence is wrong, no matter the gender" as people say then why is it when a man and woman are mutually violent the woman is treated as a totally innocent victim?

Spare me the attempts at saying I support violence against women because I don't. What I want to know is if violence is bad all about why is it that only men are held responsible for it.